
hobonamen
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pappy churchill
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the young churchill
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the young churchill’s hated bride
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chrurchill-lover phineas redfish
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crispus t muzzlewit
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stain-sucker duncan
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dick the candy dandy
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albuterol inhaler preston mcweak
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longtime listener, first-time caller
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mastiff mama
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tennessee ernie dietz
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sharkey, the secret cop
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gooseberry johnson, head brain of the hobosphere
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weekend-circular deborah
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marcus chickenstock
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stunted newton
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magnus shortwave
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u.s. fool
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manatee the railyard toreador
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utah manfred succor-munt
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laura delite
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edwin winnipeg
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eyepatch reese andiron
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tom false-lips real-teeth
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fabulon darkness
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bean-horder newt
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texas emil
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the moor of venice
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averroes nix
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human hair blanket morris burns
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canadian paul tough
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crooner sy
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manuel pants-too-high
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sylvia patience hidden-forks
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sung, the land-pirate
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opie, the boston bum
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hard-flossing hope peak
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stingo the bandana origami prodigy
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franklin ape and his inner ear infection
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questionable-judgement theodore stomachbrace
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thermos h christ
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sir mix-a-lot
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the nine doctor whos
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lord winston two-monocles
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the freewheelin’ barry sin
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diego the spark-spitter
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american citizen zane pain
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abraham, the secret collector of decorative china
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linty sullivan, the lint-collector
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socks monster
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ma churchill
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extra-skin dave
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beanbag-chair bill
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grant sharpnails, the scratcher
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tommy lice-comb
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“medicated shampoo” jonah jump
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general woundwort, the giant rabbit
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genius l cravat, the gentleman
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giant bat wings roland
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nick nolte
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salty salty friday
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fatman and the creature (opmerking: er was geen “creature”)
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cecilia graveside
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hoosegow earl french
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stymie stonewrist
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roadrunner “meep meep” fabong
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bruised-rib johansson, the beefer
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joachim bat-in-hair
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food-eating micah
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rubbery dmitry, the mad monk
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honey bunches of donald
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crispy morton
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feminine forearms rosengarten
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two-headed mike hoover
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manny stillwaggon, the man with the handlebar eyebrows
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bean-hoarder newt
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moped enid, the mopedist
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lamont the junkman
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fast-neck nell
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bill never-uses-a-cookbook
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bee-beard
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lil’ max meatboots
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the personal secretary to jed
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dee snider
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sausage patty
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desert locust
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gummy miles
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gyppo moot, the enigma machine
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ol’ stiffpants
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skywise the sexual elf
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craine t. eyebrow-smeller
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lonely heiney alan meister
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shakey aitch the boneyard concierge
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woody damn
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alatar
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pallando
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saltfish bunyan
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poor, poor, poor charlie short
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venomous brown
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five-chambered-stomach mort st john
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gravybelly dunstan
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manny the high-ranking mason
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fry-pan jim fry
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slo-mo deuteronomy
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half-bearded mark
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knee-brace kenny
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morris the personal trainer
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thundertwine
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cleats onionpocket
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deformed abe
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trainwhistle abejundio
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david no-ears
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achilles snail-hair the buddha
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frog-eatin’ lou
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admiral’s club wilbur
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max meatboots the first-class lounger
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dora the explorer
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mrs mary manx, the tailless cat
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free-peanuts doug
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steve the human tunneler
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redball charlie dickens
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twink the reading-room snoozer
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microfiche roy, the side-scroller
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mcgurk, who may be found by the card catalogue
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booster d’souza
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commodore sixty-four
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drinky drunky thom, the drunk
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terry gross
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spooky night spooky day
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zipgun gloucester gluck
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human hair frum
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sherlock-holmes-hat carl III
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patrick intergalactic
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ambidextrous slang
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yum yum sinclair snowballeater
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ponzi-scheme jeremiah ponzi
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toodles strunk
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monkeybars matthew manx
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pineneedle-jacket jericho fop
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robert the tot
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robert the child-size
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robert the minuscule
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robert the wee
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robert fits-in-a-case
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robert eats-for-free
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robert is-he-an-elf?
(de zeven silk broertjes, die allemaal robert heetten, waren ook bekend omdat ze klein waren en vanwege hun voorspelbare bitterheid) -
dennis big-ear fox
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jethro the pagan
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asterix the gaul
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black bolt, king of the inhumans
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strictly local henry bobtail
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randall mouth-harp
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chrysler le baron
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the fishin’ physician
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persuasive frederick
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celestial stubbs
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teary-eyed fingal
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mairah nix
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cthulhu carl
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del folksy-beard
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no-banjo burns
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chainmail giles godfrey
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lois “charles” ladyfinger
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plausible zane scarrey
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huckle smothered
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mmmmmdandy dundee
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mountain-humper edgar ames
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spasmodic hillary
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doc aquatic
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molly bewigged
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cincinnatti o’gurk
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metuchen o’sullivan
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cherry hill o’manley
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cheesequake o’lennox
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booper o’montauk
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zaxxon galaxian
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vice president garrett hobart
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stun gun jones
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prostate davey
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flea stick
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niles butterball, the frozen turkey
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todd four-flush
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stick-legs mcohio
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the unanswered question of timothy
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mickey the assistent manager
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guesstimate jones
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goofus
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gallant
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sir roundbelly dedelight
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newton fig
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chicken nugget will
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parlor peter, the sneak thief
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ovid
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batsheba ditz
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alan pockmark, esq.
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lolly hoot holler
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chisolm chesthair
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freak le freak, the freakster
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rex spangler, the bedazzler
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boxcar jones, the boxcar benjamin disraeli
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boxcar aldous huxley
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jr linstockings
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gila monster jr
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irontrousers the strong
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“x”, the anonymous man or woman
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orphaned reynaldo, the child with haunting eyes (hoewel er ook kinderenhobo’s waren nam reynaldo zijn naam aan toen hij 45 was, voor die tijd stond hij bekend als…)
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reynaldo reynaldoson, who will one day kill his father
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thoughtless harry hsu
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clinical psychiatrist hugo rivera
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peter ox-hands
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ponytail douglas winthrop
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li’l jonny songbird, the songbird-eater
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king snake: the eternal mystery
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ghostly nose silvie
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fonzie
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dicapa the hound
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beef-or-chicken bob nubbins
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honest amelia dirt
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slow-motion jones
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canadian football pete
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meep meep, the italian taylor
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jonathan william coulton, the colchester kid
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maria the pumpkin-patch crooner
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big shmix
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tearbaby hannity stoop
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the damned swede
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pierre tin-hat
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ol’ barb stab-you-quick
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mr whist
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james fenimore cooper
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twistback john, the scoliosis sufferer
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sweet daddy champagne
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senator cletus scoffpossum
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horus, the bird-headed fool
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50-tooth slim
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monk, the monkey man (which is to say “the man”)
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thad the bunter
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balloonpopper chillingsworth
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all-but-dissertation tucker dummychuck
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finnish jim
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flemish jim
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foreign tomas, the strangetalker
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roadhouse ogilvy and sons
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jokestealer john selden
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giancarlo, master of the metal trapeze
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dr bill stain-chin, the boxcar medic
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boxcar ted
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boxcar mick
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boxcars (sic) timothy twin
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stewbuilder dennis
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cholly the yegg
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holden the expert dreamtwister
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the rza
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jack skunk
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jack skunk fils
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lord dan x still-standing
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marlon fitz-fancy
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bazino, bazino, the kid whose hair is on fire
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whispering-lies mcgruder
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nit louse
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dan’l dinsmore tackadoo
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hobo zero
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the silver jacket man
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no-shoulders smalltooth jones
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sistery brothery nabob
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name withheld
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staniel the spaniel
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frederick bannister, the tree surgeon
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tarnose cohen
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mr wilson fancypants
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floyd dangle
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shane stoopback
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wicked paul fourteen-toes
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normal-faced olaf
Hobo’s of hoboes waren Amerikaanse zwervers die zich vooral per trein verplaatsten, met name in de crisisjaren dertig van de vorige eeuw. Er hangt een romantisch sfeertje rond het hobo-bestaan, maar in de praktijk was het keihard. Hobo’s hadden vrijwel allemaal een bijnaam, waarvan John Hodgman er in zijn boek The Areas of my Expertise zevenhonderd opsomt. Een buitengewoon intrigerende lijst, en een bron van inspiratie voor iedere artiest die een mooie naam zoekt voor hem- of haarzelf of een bandje. We gaan de lijst hier overtikken, elke dag een stuk of vijfentwintig.
Deze namen zijn bedoeld om te stelen, maar als je je enigszins bezwaard zou voelen kun je er altijd “jr” of “fils” achter zetten, of “II”.